Discontended contentment

[click comic to enlarge]
Frazz


a text from a friend sent me this:

Contentment is not always
the fulfillment of what you want...

Its the realization of how
blessed you are
for what you already have

The importance of data back-ups

indeed, data are precious

[click comic to enlarge]

A play of words

[click comic to enlarge]

Frazz

ang mga sagot sa mga katanungan sa buhay

[somebody emailed these questions in my egroup; and someone was 'serious' enough to answer them]

1. Pwede bang uminom ng softdrink kapag coffee break?

Pwede ngunit kailangan itong lagyan ng asukal at kopimeyt. Kopimeyt dapat, huwag gatas. (milk in my cereal, kopimeyt in my pepsi.)

2. Pwede bang gamitin ang A.M. (not F.M.) radio pag gabi na?

Maari lamang gamitin ang A.M. radio kapag gabi kung ang iyong pakikinggan ay O.P.M.

3. Ang fire exit ba ay labasan ng apoy?

Ang fire exit ay ginagamit lamang bilang labasan ng apoy kapag may sunog. Ito ang kanilang daan upang sila'y makatakas o ang tinatawag na "fire escape".

4. Ang uod ba pag namatay ay inuuod din?

Ang tao kapag namatay ay hindi tinatao. Malamang ang uod ay hindi rin inuuod. Kung ang tao ay inuuod kapag nalagutan ng hininga, siguro ang uod kapag namatay ay tinatao.

5. Totoo bang ang mga manok na pinatay sa Jollibee ay masasaya kaya sila tinawag na chicken joy?

Oo, sila ay masaya kung kaya't sila'y tinawag na chicken joy. Ngunit hindi kinakailangang sa Jollibee patayin ang manok upang ito ay maging masaya. Ang mga manok ay nagiging masaya kapag sila ay may kasama sa buhay. Kapag ito ay nag-iisa lamang, ito ay hindi chicken joy kundi ....mcchicken singles.

Ang pinakamasayang manok sa lahat ay iyong 6 pc. chicken mcnuggets o tinatawag na "o-r-g-y" sa inggles.

6. Kung ang 7-11 store ay bukas 24 hrs a day , 7 days a week, at 365 days a year, bakit may lock pa ang pinto nila?

Dalawa ang dahilan. Una, may coffee break din naman ang mga nagtatrabaho sa 7-11. Pangalawa, mayroon tayong tinatawag na leap year.

7. Bakit di mataas ang highway?

Dahil kung mataas ang highway, walang paglalagyan ng skyway.

8. Ba't alang lumilipad na sasakyan sa flyover?

Hindi lang natin nakikita ang mga nagliliparang sasakyan sapagkat hindi tayo tumutingala kapag tayo ay nasa flyover.

Ang pagsalin ng dayuhang salita na flyover sa katutubong wika ay "fly"- lipad, "over"- sa ibabaw.

Ibig sabihin ang mga kotse ay hindi lumilipad sa flyover ngunit sa ibabaw ng flyover. Ngayon kung titingala ka naman kapag ikaw ay nasa flyover ang tangi mong makikita ay ang kisame ng iyong sasakyan.

Alam kong wala sa inyong mayroong sasakyan na Miata, Boxster, Kompressor, Z3, Z8 at kung ano-ano pang kotseng pang-mayaman kaya't huwag na kayong magpumilit mamilosopo.. . ako lang ang may karapatan.

Kung idadahilan niyo naman na mayroon kayong sunroof, hanapin ninyo ang inyong tinatawag na "sense of humor". Namamatay ng maaga ang palaging seryoso.


Sana ay nasagot ang ilan sa inyong mga katanungan sa buhay. Kung mayroon pang ibang bagay na bumabagabag sa iyong isipan huwag kayong mag-atubiling ilapit sa mga kina-uukulan o kaya sarilinin nyo na lamang para di kayo pagtawanan.

At lagi rin sana nating tandaan ang dayuhang salawikain na "ask a dumb question and you'll get a dumb answer."

Maraming salamat at walang anuman.

Inday chronicles

as sent in an email....really funny


for your indulgence


"I am solitary. I find it hard to succumb to slumber, though the downpour of rain should've made it easy. This exuberant emotional glue I have for you cannot be simply washed away. The multiplicity of what I feel for you is inevitable. This isn't platonic. It's real, true romance."
— Inday, nag-e-emote sa may bintana habang iniisip si Dodong, ang boyfriend niyang driver ng kapitbahay
* * *
"One grows distant from another not because of hatred, not because of indifference, but because of fear. There's the fear that the hurt gets greater as one gets closer, a recognition of the tendecy to fall deeply and consequently drown in a quicksand of stupid irrationalities. Sometimes, what drives one away is not the absence of emotion, but the overwhelming presence of it."
— Inday, sa nararamdaman niya kay Dodong
* * *
"There are tulips in the street. There are tulips in the park, but nothing compares to our two lips meeting in the dark...."
— Pamatay lines ni Dodong kay Inday
* * *
"The statute restricts me to love you but you have the provocation. The way you smile is the proximate cause why I love you. We have some rules to think of. We have no vested rights to love each other because the upper household dismissed my petition!"
— Ganito nakipag-break si Inday kay Dodong
* * *
"I appreciate your courage, but... placating will just give false hopes. Your flowers are nothing but fancy. I ain't worth an ordinary weed cutter. Find yourself another lover."
— Inday, nang binasted si Estong
* * *
"I stay awake in the coldness of the darkened sky contemplating why, for some reason, my emptiness has made itself manifest, extending to that niche where I was given life and growth, that because of austerity I was separated from…."
— Inday, hindi makatulog dahil na-ho-homesick
* * *
"La vida no es una broma actualmente. El dinero es tan duro de pasar. Puede usted bajar el precio parci mi? Soy ya su compradora avido diario por favor?
— Inday, tumatawad sa merkado nang isinama siya ng amo sa España
* * *
1) Drunken shrimp and blue lobster meat with caviar served with milagrosa rice (red variety) and apricot sauce
2 Vegetables in balsamic vinegar splashed with extra virgin olive oil
3) Lychee and peach salad with sour cream cheese topped with lemon zests
— Baon ni Junior sa daycare na inihanda ni Inday
* * *
"Bloody hell!!! What the f*ck did just land on my cutie top? I mean, I've spent all day just to make myself look fabulous. I think I'll have this eewy thing removed in a whip wham of time!"
— Reaction ni Inday nung natalsikan siya ng mantika habang nagluluto ng tilapia
* * *
"Ipomea aquatica has become the constant ingredient in this Filipino delicacy which is very helpful in the digestion during the peristaltic process of the food we intake. Due to the continuous rains and floods, the harvest of the said vegetable has lessened the production in the market."
— B anat ni Inday kung bakit walang kangkong sa nilutong sinigang
* * *
"Heavy fire exerted by the stimulus affect the best conductor of heat which is the steel, causing the 'oriza sativa,' the scientific name of rice, to change its state of color, smell, as well as the taste."
— Sagot ni Inday nang tanungin siya ng amo kung bakit nasunog ang sinaing
* * *
"Potatoes, when consumed in their raw state, are rapidly converted to glucose that raise insulin levels because of its simple sugar. When cooked in high temperatures like french fries, they produce large amounts of free radicals in the body, causing aging, clotting, inflamation, cancer, weight gain.... One french fry is worse than one cigarette."
— Inday, sagot sa amo nung tanungin siya kung bakit hindi siya nagluto ng french fries
* * *
"Off you go! Under no circumstances will this house relent to such unabashed display of vagrant destitution!"
— Si Inday, pinapaalis ang makulit na pulubi sa gate
* * *
Ederlyn: Hi, Inday!
Inday: I'm sorry, who the hell are you?! Back off, loser!
* * *
"A change in the weather patterns might have occurred, causing havoc to affected surroundings. The way debris are scattered indicates that the gust of wind is going northeast, causing damage to the path it is going."
— Sagot ni Inday sa amo nung tinanong siya kung bakit nagkalat ang basura sa likod ng bahay
* * *
"Allergens trigger the immune response. Eosinophilic migration occurs to the reaction site and release of chemotactic and anaphylotoxin, including histamine and prostaglandins. These substances result in increased circulation to the site promoting redness."
— Sagot ni Inday nang tanungin ni Sir kung bakit may rashes si Junior
* * *
"Much as I want to indulge in the proliferation of such indecent and malicious information, I want to lift the stigma and alleviate society's perception of blindness."
— Pinagalitan ni Inday si Junior sa sobrang lapit manood ng TV
* * *
Amo: Day! Bakit may bukol si Junior?!
Inday: Compromising safety with useless aesthetics, the not-so-well engineered architectural design of our kitchen lavatory affected the boy's cranium with a slight boil at the left temple near the auditory organ.
Amo: (Di naka-react)
* * *
Amo: Bakit tuwing pag-uwi ko, nadadatnan kitang nanonood ng TV?!
Inday: Because I don't want you to see me doing absolutely nothing!
* * *
Amo: Inday, di ba nanood ka ng The Buzz kahapon? Bakit daw umalis si Angel Locsin sa GMA 7?
Inday: Sometimes, people choose to leave not because of selfish reasons but because they just know that things will get worse if they stay. Leaving can be a tough act and it's harder when people can't understand you for doing so.
* * *
Dear Sir/Madam:
Attached herewith is a list of proposed acquisition in line with my proposal to upgrade your household facilities. I have already made an initial survey of current market prices. Note, however, that prices can vary depending on the prevailing exchange rate and aggregate supply and demand, which we also monitor on an hourly basis.
— Si Inday, nagpapaalam mamalengke
* * *
"Guess what? The not-so-stunning guys keep on staring at my newly-manicured nails, while the copycat freaks envy my stylishly-cut mane. Unfortunately, after a great day at the spa, I have to step on this muddy and stinking place just to purchase some veggies!"
— Inday, nakikipagchikahan sa tindera sa palengke
* * *
"Higher stock index and low flow of investments triggered inflation prices, thus, the peso is weak."
— Dahilan ni Inday kung bakit kulang ang sukli
* * *
Amo: Inday, bumili ka nga ng mga isda... O o nga pala, Inglisera ka…. Would you please purchase many fishes for this week's meals?
Inday: Judging from your statement, I believe you meant a variety of fish. The term "fishes," although rarely and even erroneously used, connotes a plethora or an array of different kinds of the aforementioned gilled creatures. But the more pressing questions before I traverse the road to the wet market would be: What certain type of fish? Fillet or not? Frozen or just right smack the day's catch? (Pauses) Aaah… by manner of careful extrapolation, given the meager budget in this household's quasi-peasant middle class taste, I assume then that will source the staple "galewng-gowng" . Am I correct?
Amo: Leche!
Inday: You meant the freshwater milkfish? Then the "ba-ngooz" is it!
* * *
"Physical stress and excessive work may result in serious damage to one's body. It is, therefore, essential that once in a while, we take a break from our usual routine to replenish the lost energy we once had."
— Sabi ni Inday sa amo nu'ng humingi siya ng day-off
* * *
"Don't limit my capacity in the four corners of this luxurious abode. Expose me to the real challenges of the outside world. I want to grow as an individual with dynamic experience."
— Inday, nagrereklamo dahil ayaw isama sa Enchanted Kingdom
* * *
Amo: Inday, bakit mo binenta yung sirang silya?
Inday: I have computed the chair's fair value less cost to sell and the value in use using projections for five years and a pre-tax discount rate. Accordingly, the value in use is lower, so I decided to sell the chair. This is in accordance with PAS18 on Revenue, PAS16 on Property, Plant, and Equipment, and PAS36 on Impairment of Assets!
Amo: Adik ka talaga, Inday!
* * *
Dear Mom,
Had it not been for the smelling salt, I must have collapsed moments ago. Junior has become a little monster to me! Remember the head accident he had? As if it wasn't enough, he was summoned by the principal of his shabbily-run academe. Oh, such an erudite bunch of baboons! I never thought being a governess can be such a strenuous employ.
Your daughter,
Inday
Dear Inday,
Walanghiya ka! Magpadala ka nga ng pera! Nasa ospital ang nanay mo; dumugo ang ilong kababasa ng pesteng sulat mo!
Tatay
* * *
"It's not that I'm trying to compete with professionals and I'm totally not avoiding speaking in the vernacular. It's just that circumstances necessitate me to speak English because I won't fully accomplish my job without doing so."
— Explanation ni Inday sa pag-e-English niya
* * *
Amo 1: Inday, ano gamit mo sa katawan mo? Ang kinis mo kasi, eh.
Amo 2: Siguro gumagamit ka ng papaya....
Amo 1: Baka naman kalamansi?
Inday: NO! Only Belo touches my skin! Who touches yours?

The [d]evolution of man

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need I say more?

societies and its people are now figuratively and literally hungry for more of all the things around them that it has led to a complete change of man.

Boon or bane?

The vicious cycle of endlessness

Complaints, complaints....

...thats what most of us are usually doing;
to the point that we become so warmed up talking and talking.

But what will we do about it?

And silence becomes deafening.

Go, ask a politician, s/he's so good at this.

[click comic to enlarge]

Too Much Coffee Man

Ultimate Forbidden

We all have ultimate fantasies about things around us...

Things that would make us look good...

Things that would make us comfortable...

Things that would make us live happily ever after...

Things that would make our lives better.

Unfortunately, it does not happen. That is why it is called a fantasy.

Reality really [sometimes] sucks.

[click comic to enlarge]

guest artist Meghan Murphy for multiplexcomic

Reality Bites: Coming Full Circle

And so, discordant as it may seems, reality has a way of tying loose ends of what might a person wants.

And at the end of the day, we still try our best to antagonize and deviate from the path that we tend to follow...

Reflections of things that can not be undone but rectified (probably) in the future...

Or things that one is so trying hard to control according to his bidding that probably will do good for his future...

Or things that are beyond his control but can still have a significant role in his future.

Safer weekend for all people.

[Click comic to enlarge]

[disclaimer: comic not my own. will acknowledge the website once i recall where i got it]

Movie Rant: Spider-man -- where's the balance?

Other countries must be seething in jealousy.

The Philippines' celebration of Labor Day coincided with the showing of Spider-man 3. In cinemas nationwide, there were long lines literally snaking throughout the floor were the cinemas are located.

The movie both delivered and disappointed.

It delivered the nitty-gritty action and suspense, drama and comedy that we love in the first two Spider-man movies. It further reaffirms the action hero's iconic status over other superheroes.

It disappointed in a sense that the movie focused too much attention to one stage of Peter Parker's personality and his tendency to be too self-absorbed in his importance as a hero. In this aspect, the movie fails to give equal emphasis on the villains. There was little screen time to Venom. The movie could have provided a different level of excitement had Venom been given more screen time like Sandman (because in the cartoons/comics that I had watched/read, Venom is probably the most difficult villain that Spider-man faced, but in the movie, it was rather abridged). This is probably the dilemma with movies faced with two antagonists. Had there been only one, it could have provided more 'soul' to the movie like Spider-man 2 (which I believed is so much better because it focused only on a single antagonist).

But this minor flaw was circumvented towards the climax of the movie. Spider-man again returned to his element. And heck, it was one hell of a movie ride.....

And definitely, this is not the end of the franchise, based on how it ends.

Overview courtesy of the Spider-man Official site:
Peter Parker has finally managed to strike a balance between his devotion to M.J. and his duties as a superhero. But there is a storm brewing on the horizon. When his suit suddenly changes, turning jet-black and enhancing his powers, it transforms Peter as well, bringing out the dark, vengeful side of his personality that he is struggling to control. Under the influence of the suit, Peter becomes overconfident and starts to neglect the people who care about him most. Forced to choose between the seductive power of the new suit and the compassionate hero he used to be, Peter must overcome his personal demons as two of the most-feared villains yet, Sandman and Venom, gather unparalleled power and a thirst for retribution to threaten Peter and everyone he loves.

For casts and credits, click here.

Business Slogans

credit goes to Bert Christensen's Truth & Humour Collection for the very humorous and funny tag lines below. I will try to post here similar slogans found in the Philippines.
Enjoy!


On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

On a Septic Tank Truck sign:
"We're #1 in the #2 business."

Sign over a Gynecologist’s Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

At a Proctologist's door
"To expedite your visit please back in."

On a Plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."

On a Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."

Pizza Shop Slogan:
"7 days without pizza makes one weak."

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
"Invite us to your next blowout."

On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door:
"Hello. Can we pick your nose?"

At a Towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."

In a Nonsmoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate
action."

On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."

At an Optometrist's Office
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

On a Taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."

In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."

On a Fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."

At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."

Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

At the Electric Company:
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you
don't, you will be."

In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up."

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."

At a Propane Filling Station,
"Thank heaven for little grills."

And don't forget the sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop:
"Best place in town to take a leak."